02.08.03 - 03:16
i understand the complexities of hearthache. that's someone's aim profile. i really do. it's enough for me to want to transfer out of this school. it's enough for me to question everything that i thought i knew about myself. it's enough for me to know absolutely nothing about anything...
it'll drive me to hook up with random people. with random multiple people, no less. it's powerful enough for me to lose my mind to.... and i don't want to do that.
i don't want to lose control to somebody else that is outside my own body.
i hate that idea. i hate that so much. i would rather lose a limb but i can't very well control the way that i feel. i'm surprised that i am this good at typing the right words with the right spelling because right now i am drunk and swaying back and forth before my laptop. it's pretty amazing that i'm still standing. i should have hooked up with EMMA. should have. in suzy's room. but no. why? because of tess. whom i will never ever ever ever have. ever. fuck.
