03.05.03 - 01:43
and now. an unglorious return to my couch.
at some point i'll unlock this. but not quite yet. i still want the freedom to drop the cloak of vagueness which i have been wearing so well in other places.
now. about what's been happening since my last transmission. i have, for lack of a better phrase, been getting much ass. no hetero ass though. to tell you the truth, i give up on hot emerson. he has made zero moves. zero. most boys at least attempt to put an arm around. and really, i've gotten lazy lately and don't feel like initiating anything myself. there's no need when i find myself making out with three girls at a time.
which is such a funny thing in itself. a little over a year ago i was having heart attacks about my identity. am i really bisexual? do i really like girls too? and not only heart attacks about being bi but also not being able to imagine living in a state of bi-ness. i didn't really think that i'd ever have any relations with girls. and now here i am.
this previous weekend is the second time that i've found one bed to be occupied by four hot girls.
this time was more personal. tess [remember her?] was one of the girls. and. she was seriously weirding out directly before and directly after making out with me. i was the only one she kissed.
tess statement: i always want to hook up with [me] when i'm drunk.
so i hadn't been imagining this. you wouldn't be able to comprehend the agonies i had been putting myself through all last semester because i felt like every time we went out she would start to come on to me only to draw back at the last second. i, of course, never acted on or took advantage of her advances. preferring instead to mentally self-flagellate.
now what we have on our hands is a case of: straight friend who is attracted to me and made an exception. where to go from there...
is montreal.
